A friend gave me this ultra-nifty handy-dandy spifferific crocheted FSM for the Winter Solstice Holiday Season, and since FSM is my co-pilot, I’ve placed it on my desk for all to appreciate.

FSM is My Co-Pilot

Here’s the thing. I work for the Federal Government on a Coast Guard Base. We are prohibited from religious displays, so I’m officially breaking the rules. The people I work with are not allowed to hang up crosses, stars of davidzes, etc on their desks. This has come up before, and management asserts that it is a Federally-mandated no-no.

But here’s the other thing. Nobody knows what the heckskies FSM is, so they don’t know it’s religious. Dig?

But here’s another other thing! Even if they did know what it is, by asking me to take it down, they’d be acknowleding Pastafarianism as an actual religion! Thus derriding their own religion!!!

And here’s another other other thing!!! Pastafarianism isn’t really a religion, it’s a mockery of religion; therefore, the FSM on my desk is actually a symbol of secularism!!!

Bwa-Ha-Ha!!! Somebody call the Supreme Court in to figure this one out. I’m not afraid to face SCOTUS!!! First thing I’d do is kick Justice Scalia in the balls!!!

I have absolutely no idea if I’m breaking the Federal rules or not, and I’m chasing logical loopdeeloos around in my head trying to figure it out, and now I… I… I’m feeling kinda dizzy and seasick…

Okay… bye now.