One Laptop Per Child Now On Sale!!!

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I’ve ordered mine, have you ordered your’s? All the cool kids are ordering one. Don’t you want to be part of the “in” crowd?

Not only does ordering one of these super-duper, ultra-nifty, best-thing-since-sliced-bread-cubed improve your health, fortunes, and make you more appealing to members of the opposite sex in general, but every laptop you buy for $399 means that a needy child in third-world country will get one too!

And then you can both go online and play deathmatch! Deathmatch!! DEATHMATCH!!!

I can’t wait to start pwning kids living in refugee camps around the world in Ethiopia, Rawanda, and Darfur at Quake while chowing-down on bean burritos in the comfort of my climate-controlled modern home. It’s gonna be Total ownage!

I’m already working on my snappy one-liners:

“Whaddya pause to wind up your laptop?”

“Hey! Whydontcha go farm some gold for me?”

“You’re so poor, you can’t even pay attention! Cause… you know… You’re all worried about clean water, and food, and all that genocide and stuff… Nevermind.”

Third World is Pwwned!