President Ahmadinejad Goes to Columbia University and Gets Spanked

Posted on 25th September 2007 by Ryan Somma in Enlightenment Warrior - Tags: ,

…and the Columbia president, Lee Bollinger, took him to the ‘splainin’ room:

“Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator,” he said, to applause, before directly issuing Mr. Ahmadinejad a series of strongly worded questions on his country’s poor record of civil rights and support of terrorism. “I doubt that you will have the intellectual courage to answer these questions. But your avoiding them will in itself be meaningful to us. I do expect you to exhibit the fanatical mindset that characterizes so much of what you say and do.”

Ahmadinejad’s complaints that Bollinger’s statements were a disrespectful act toward an invited guest were met with a small smattering of applause, but his complaints reflect the difference in values between our countries. In America, we are free to publicly call our leaders jackasses, even our wartime Presidents.

Welcome to America Ahmadinejad, excuse us while we take you to task with the same vigor and bluntness we smack our own Presidents around with. That’s because here, we consider our leaders Public Servants.

I thought Bollinger’s statements were fantastic, awesome, courageous, and resolute demonstration of intellectual fortitude. It was also a great big F U to all the spineless NeoCons who objected to Americans facing the Iranian President in a public forum.

There is no clearer sign of ideological weakness than to suppress debate, and Monday morning, when Republican Rep. Duncan Hunter threatened to introduce legislation that would strip Columbia University of its federal funding if they hosted Iranian President Ahmadinejad, was a dramatic sign of how closely NeoConservative political-thuggery resembles Iran’s theocracy in its hatred for open debate.

Bollinger called Ahmadinejad a jackass, and then Ahmadinejad got up on the podium and proceeded to prove it.

CSPAN radio opened up its lines to callers after the talk, Republicans, Democrats, Independents, and even Monarchs (Yes, the Iranian Monarch Party, apparently hiding out in Washington DC) called in to complain that Ahmadinejad got away with evading the questions put to him.

You know what? If it was so painfully obvious Ahmadinejad was not answering the tough questions that even the Monarchs noticed it, then HE DIDN’T GET AWAY WITH IT. He just made a jackass out of himself, as Bollinger predicted he would from the outset.

The most offensive thing about Ahmadinejad’s comments to my mind was his twisting of scientific principles for his own ends. When asked about his statements that there should be more research done into the Holocaust, which he has previously referred to as a ‘myth,’ he replied that people objecting to research were anti-science.

Ahmadinejad did not address his historically ignorant opinion of the holocaust in his response, but, as with all his responses, tried to turn the focus back on the questioner. It was almost as if he were taking a page out of the Intelligent Design movement’s book of rhetoric. How do you say, “Teach the controversy,” in Farsi?

When asked about the execution of homosexuals in Iran, the Iranian President rambled on a bit with some ignorant nonsense about drug dealing and the spread of diseases before giving this bit of silliness:

In Iran we don’t have homosexuals like in your country. We don’t have that like in your country. … In Iran we do not have this phenomenon. I don’t know who’s told you that we have this.

This is the guy who President Bush won’t debate? This is the rhetoric our President won’t rebuke in front of the whole world?

I have very little faith in Bush Jr’s eloquence and rhetorical talents, but he would totally kick this guy’s butt all over the stage intellectually in a debate. As much as I regret our President’s lack of wisdom and insight, I have complete faith that he would serve as America’s gladiator fighting for Democracy in a battle of ideas against Iran’s oppressive theocracy.

Democracy, freedom, and equality are such great %$#&ing ideas that they speak for themselves. Imagine an American President standing on a stage in front of the world and sternly admonishing totalitarians right to their faces like Bollinger did. I wonder what leader would have the stoutheartedness and firmness of conviction to spread Democracy in such an effective fashion?

Barack Obama for President
Barack Obama for President

1 Comment

  1. Good point about the threat to strip funding! FTW!

    Barack wants to increase the drug war. At least in New Orleans…

    Comment by Clint — September 25, 2007 @ 9:08 pm

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