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Acanthostega gunnari

We vertebrates might not be as numerous as the insect world, but our internal skeletons let us grow big enough to squish them. Fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds, and mammals all owe our spinal and notochords for making us the most advanced form of life on the planet.

You can check out the complete flickr set here.

Albert Martucci woke up at six AM sharp every morning. He put on his slippers and his robe and went into the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee. He ate the same breakfast every morning. Two eggs lightly scrambled, three strips of bacon, and two slices of buttered toast. Albert enjoyed the routine. Routines kept life simple. The steaming plate of food and brisk cup of coffee set out on the kitchen table by six thirty. Now all he needed was the morning paper to complete the scene.

He tipped the paperboy an extra dollar every week for the luxury of having the paper placed on his doorstep every morning. He appreciated this, especially on a cold January morning such as today. Frost still coated the ground as the sun hadn’t melted it yet and his breath condensed around him in the tart air. Albert took two steps onto his porch and felt his skin tighten into goosebumps.

As coincidence would have it, at that very moment in space and time Albert’s front porch was occupied by an errant wormhole. He fell into this disruption in space and time and was transported to the mystical planet of Zerapimm two billion light-years away. A planet at war for the mere right to survive in the face of oppression by the galactic empire. A planet who it just so happened was in need of a savior, a hero, from beyond the stars gifted with opposable thumbs, sweat glands, and an anal retentive attention to detail that could unite the planet against their totalitarian rulers and spread peace across the galaxy once and for all.

Unfortunately the Zerapimm atmosphere consisted of a highly volatile oxygen sulfuric acid mix which vaporized poor Albert before he could even chance to marvel at this New World. There was a flash of pain, darkness, and he was no more.

But who watches the watchmen?
- Juvenal

To my shame, I must admit I have never read Alan Moore’s literary classic Watchmen, the graphic novel above all graphic novels, the book that is required reading in many college English classes, and the comic that made Time magazine’s 100 All-Time Novels. I totally lose nerd-points for never having taken the time to add such an important and influential work to my reading list.

1986 Watchmen T-Shirt

Last week I corrected this personal shortcoming. My plan was to read the book in a week, but, unable to put it down, I read it in a six-hour marathon session. All I can say is, WOW. I had previously read Alan Moore’s V for Vendetta and Promethea, the latter held my previous #1 spot for all-time-greatest graphic novel before Watchmen dethroned it.

Watchmen is a classic noir tale, opening with a murder, leading to a mystery, and a journey through a menagerie of classic noir archetypes. The psychotic killer, fem fatale, confidant, mobster, floozy, bad-cop, hard-boiled detective, and wealthy untouchable are all present and accounted for, only here they are all superheroes.

With one exception, Alan Moore’s superheroes do not possess super-human powers. They are merely athletes, inventors, or vigilantes needing costumes to protect them from the law. Watchmen takes place in an alternate history where the existence of superheroes has intensified the arms race between America and the U.S.S.R., where their intervention in Vietnam allows America to win that conflict, and allowed Richard Nixon’s re-election. The book is brimming with historical inside jokes, as when Robert Redford is mentioned as a possible presidential candidate, a character responds, “Who wants a cowboy actor to be President?”

I would consider Watchmen a fairly anti-superhero book, wrestling with the philosophical concept of valetism, hero-worship (”No man is a hero to his valet.”). Moore’s heroes are so humanly-flawed, like any authority, how can we imagine consolidating so much power in their hands?

Which of Moore’s superheros’ worldviews would we trust to care for us? Rorchack’s extreme social conservativism, Ozymandias’ extreme socialism, the Comedian’s nihilism, or Dr. Manhattan’s impartial omniscience? At the book’s conclusion, the characters are faced with a disturbing moral decision to make, but one that is brought about from all their meddling in the world.

Watchmen is a book that requires several readings to fully appreciate the complex characters, myriad plotlines, layers of symbolism tying everything together, and the depth of its philosophical issues, to which there are no clear answers. It’s a book about superheroes in the real world, and the good and the bad that comes of it.

A film version of the novel is scheduled for March 9th 2009, produced by Larry Gordon who has been working for 17 years to bring this novel to the big screen. It will be directed by Zack Snyder, whose previously directed the offensively bad film 300, and who I think lacks the emotional maturity to pull off Watchmen. A trailer for the film further squelches my enthusiasm, as it features all the stereotypical shots of people in costumes striking cool poses, which really goes against the spirit of the novel.

Awhile back I wrote a letter to the Babyboomer Generation, asking them to have the prescience and dignity to take responsibility for the National Debt in their lifetimes and not leave it to burden future generations.

Now it appears Roger Ebert has written a letter to the younger generations as part of his review of the documentary I.O.U.S.A.:

A letter to our grandchildren, Raven, Emil and Taylor: I see you growing up into such beautiful people, and I wish all good things to you as you make the leap into adulthood. But I have just seen a documentary titled “I.O.U.S.A.” that snapped into sharp focus why your lives may not be as pleasant as ours have been. Chaz and I had the blessing of growing up in an optimistic, bountiful America. We never fully realized that we were paying for many of our comforts with your money.