Flash Fiction: Biobaubles

Kira was still wailing in the background when Jillian dialed the web address tattooed on the lifeless kitten’s belly. She had to talk her way past two chatbots before finally being put in touch with a human being.

“Good day Jillian Dillard,” the customer service rep announced. “My agents inform me you have an inoperable pet on your hands?”

“Not so good a day,” Jillian replied coolly and shifted the phone to her other ear in a futile attempt to hear the woman on the other end over Kira’s crying. “My daughter broke her kitten.”

“Oh dear,” the rep replied with almost-convincing sincerity. “I’m sorry to hear that. How long have you owned the pet?”

“Three years,” Jillian mumbled.

“Okay. It appears that the animal was still under warranty. I just need to ask you a few questions for our claims department. How did the pet expire?”

Jillian took a deep breath, “I… uh… I stepped on it.”

“Oh… I’m so sorry to hear that,” the woman sounded a little more genuine, or maybe Jillian was craving the sympathy. “If it’s any consolation, you know, this happens a lot with our perma-kittens. The little darlings are so adorable, but they are very prone to getting under foot.”

“Yeah. I know,” Jillian’s voice was feeble. “This was our second one.”

“Not a problem,” the service rep said. “You made the wise choice with the extended warranty plan when you purchased your perma-kitten at the pet store.”

“Thanks,” Jillian said. “My daughter’s inconsolable.”

“Is that you’re daughter in the background?”

“Yeah.”

“How old is she?”

“Six.”

“Poor dear. That’s a hard age for understanding these things. Well, we’ll try to make it so she isn’t heartbroken for too long.” The representative paused, and returned with a more upbeat tone, “I’m looking at our available stock now, and it appears we have a replacement available. Just remember that this new perma-kitten is set to expire on the same date as your old one. Do you still have your current pet’s body?”

Jillian turned the light-blue kitten over in her hand, and its legs flopped like a doll’s. An inoffensive light-pink fluid tinged the corners of its mouth, “Yes.”

“Okay. If you could please hold on to that to exchange with our carrier. We’ll have a replacement in hibernation and shipped out to you this afternoon.”

“That’s great,” Jillian said, relieved. “Kira will be so happy.”

“The poor thing,” the rep said. “Well, at least her sorrow will only be temporary. Is there anything else I can do for you today Ms. Dillard?”

“No. No thank you. I appreciate your help.”

“My pleasure. I hope you have a great day, and thank you for choosing Biobaubles.”

Jillian hung up.

“Sweety,” she said then, turning to face her still-sobbing daughter. Jillian cradled the kitten in her arms as if it were asleep and stooped down so her daughter could see, “I just got off the phone with Santa, and you know what?”