The profundity of the film Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has left my mind swirling with deep, philosophical, scientific, and political questions. Maybe someone could help me with them:

What was the sociological explanation for incredibly-advanced extraterrestrials adopting stereotypical “gansta” lingo as their primary means of social discourse, as we saw with the twin robots Skids and Mudflap? Was their emotional immaturity, juvenile taunting, violent behavior, big ears, lips, and gold teeth the result of adopting the “gansta” persona, or are robots with these personality and physical characteristics drawn to humanity’s “thug” lifestyle? One measure of this might be to find out if these twin robots, who dwarf the human race with their awesome technological superiority, were illiterate before or after they started using vulgarities and threatening to “Bust a cap in that ass.”

Skids and Mudflap, Gangsta Robots

Rush Limbaugh has been very fond of bringing science fiction writer Michael Crighton on his show in the past to debunk Global Warming. The author’s chief credential is writing a book about the Sierra Club funding ecoterrorists to build a weather-changing machine to destroy the world. Will Limbaugh have director Michael Bay on his show soon to debunk Obama’s foreign policy, which, in the film, included attempting to appease the evil Decepticons through diplomacy? Will Obama’s “Soft on Decepticons” fictional stance provide fuel for Faux News commentators and his Republican detractors in 2012?

What kind of treaty does the United States have with the Chinese government allowing our soldier to battle evil robots on their territory? Or do the Chinese let American soldiers blow up blocks and blocks worth of their city-streets because they are overwhelmed by our sheer awesomeness? The fact that there were no Chinese officials overseeing combat operations would support the latter hypothesis. Is there any friction resulting from the fact that all transformers turn into American-made cars that could translate into trade restrictions? Or are the Chinese relying on the collapse of the American auto-industry to take care of the Earth’s transformer infestation?

I have many many other questions about the film, like the fact that transformers appear to reproduce asexually, but will hump someone’s leg as a sign of affection. Is that a “When in Rome” sort of thing? As the film was a three-hour long Army commercial, will the American armed forces start giving away transformers toys to further incentivize new recruits? What cultural attributes would a Toyota Prius take on if it was a transformer? Or does the Prius have too much dignity for that?