Speak English or Go Home!

Dare County has made English its official language, and I say it’s about time somebody finally took a stand!

They show up in our country in droves, usurping our traditional values, and turning our culture on its head. Studies show they are bringing down our children’s grammar skills. They don’t pay taxes, and their influx of cheap labor is forcing countless honest, hardworking Americans into the unemployment lines.

Some people say we can’t do without them, that our economy depends on their labors. That if we exile them from our borders, our modern way of life will collapse, but our lifestyles are increasingly consumed with catering to their needs, all because they are apparently incapable of learning our common tongue.

This is America, and we speak English in this great union. Perl, COBOL, VBScript, PHP, C++, SQL, Java, cold Fusion, Lojban, Python, and other programming languages are un-American, and the schools that teach them and programmers who speak them are bordering on treason.

I say computers either need to learn English or get the heck out of our country!