I’ve been forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh many times over the last decade. Recently I was in a situation where I was exposed to three hours of his radio show a day for two solid weeks. The Limbaugh fans around me perpetually challenged me with their favorite pundit’s logic(?). It was an interesting experience, and my observations of these Parrotheads helped me to understand how many unthinking sheep come to their conclusions about politics… through deception and irrationality.
Here are some of my responses to what I’ve witnessed:
“Why Do People Care What Celebrities Think?”
This is a great question and one I’d like an answer to myself. Rush was reviewing Barbara Streisand’s comments on global warming, wondering why people respected her opinion. I checked out CNN, but there was no mention of Streisand’s commentary. Fox News apparently didn’t feel the need to cover them either. My Google and Yahoo news sources were completely devoid of Streisand’s statements as well. Even NPR, that evil bastion of liberalism, was left out of the loop on Streisand.
I thought Rush had a point, Streisand was no expert on Global Warming and he spent a full thirty-minutes of his three-hour show reviewing her inexpert commentary (You see where I’m going with this?). Rush dedicated 17% of his program to Barbara Streisand’s comments, which were otherwise completely ignored by the media–well, maybe E! covered them–but the question remains: Why are you parrotheads so obsessed with Celebrity commentary?
The answer to this question will require some introspection on your part, but I have an hypothesis, if you’ll indulge me:
While the rest of the world outside of Limbaugh’s talkshow wasn’t paying any attention to Streisand’s comments, they were paying attention to the Global Warming debate. There were these people called Scientists, who were having a very respectable debate over the issue. They are educated and conduct a great deal of research to find out what’s really going on with our environment. They also admit the uncertainty in their findings and argue for more research so we can get a bigger picture and–
Whoops. Sorry. I said “educated” and you stopped reading. Everyone knows people who go to school are merely elitist liberals with a political agenda to eventually bring about the destruction of Western Civilization… Or maybe Limbaugh is simply trying to “sour grapes” something he was never able to achieve: a college education.
What is Limbaugh anyway? He’s no expert on politics. He doesn’t have a degree in political science. He’s a talkshow host, a radio personality with no more expertise over politics than Oprah Winfrey. Imagine that, your demigod is simply another version of Oprah Winfrey… except she has a college degree. So he’s not even living up to that standard. You obsess over the opinions of a celebrity for three hours a day!
Please Respond to the Arguments Put to You.
When someone calls in to Limbaugh’s show and says, “Barak Obama said blah blah blah,” and Rush responds with, “Well Louis Farakhan said blah blah blah!” He’s not actually responding to the caller’s comments.
It’s not particularly clever either. Imagine if I were to do the same thing:
Conservative: You know Ryan, William F. Buckley Jr. believes a premature withdrawal from Iraq could destabilize the region and leave a power vacuum for another dictatorship to occupy.
Me: Oh yeah? Well your homegirl Anne Coulter said, “We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.” You conservatives are really |=\_/(|( ed up!
You see, Rush likes to focus on the fringe elements of the American left and reduce all liberals to that fringe. It helps maintain this caricature of liberalism so crucial to his non-confrontational debate style. In fact, Rush, despite his large audience and millions of dollars, is actually part of the conservative fringe. Louis Farakhan doesn’t get invited to Democratic fundraisers, but Rush Limbaugh gets invited to the Republican ones.
Which raises a question in my mind: Dick Cheney regularly appears on Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity’s shows. This not only legitimizes them, but puts them in the party mainstream. Ann Coulter’s extremist rants have previously hit the New York Times #1 spot in book sales. The lunatics are running the conservative asylum. Is that something to be proud of?
How the hell did that happen anyway? How did Republicans go from Ronald Reagan to Sean Hannity? Barry Goldwater to Rush Limbaugh? William F. Buckley to Michael Savage and Anne Coulter? What the hell happened to all the respectable Republicans?
When you rant about the sixteen-year-old kid who gave you the crunchy-taco-supreme when you specifically asked for the soft-taco-supreme as being indicative of how liberalism is destroying America, you might think the silence that follows is your audience being awestruck, rendered speechless by your brilliance.
It’s not. They’re embarrassed for you. It’s an uncomfortable silence.
Here’s a funny one. I was listening to Rush bashing an anti-war (his words “Anti-America”) political demonstration in Washington, emphasizing, without citing any sources, the *fact* that there were far more demonstrators supporting the war at an alternate rally. The argument was pretty straightforward: More people were demonstrating in support of the war effort. Fair enough.
A little later he changed tactics. What kind of people are anti-war demonstrators that they can spend a whole day in Washington protesting? These people must be real losers. They can’t be employed and, as Rush often points out, taking part in demonstrations (ie: taking part in politics) is just plain stupid.
Now put the two arguments together: There were more war-supporters demonstrating that day and demonstrators are stupid losers–but I doubt Rush would word it that way. He’d probably says something like: There were more war-supporters demonstrating that day, and, even if there weren’t, it doesn’t matter because demonstrators are stupid losers. Go on. Have your cake and eat it too.
What kind of loser can waste three hours out of the middle of their day to listen to this silliness?
When people asked, “How will we pay for the Iraq War?” or “What’s the post-war plan in Iraq?” or “Won’t a war weaken our military leverage with Iran and North Korea?” You can’t make these questions go away with, “You’re UnAmerican!!!”
In fact, those questions remained and their realities have manifest and you can continue to ignore the 100-Billion Dollars a year its costing us, the troops dying, the civilians dying, and Iran laughing all the way into nuclear armament.
Whoops. Sorry, I triggered the “You’re UnAmerican!” response found in line 250 of your basic programming. If I had mentioned keyword “Bill Clinton” I would have triggered the standard response in line 124 of your code: “His only legacy will be a stained dress!” Keyword “Hillary Clinton” would trigger response #95, “She’s a feminazi!”
What’s with these talking-points? Non-Parrotheads have often speculated on the strange phenomenon of conservative talking-heads always making the same exact talking points on the same day using the exact same language. Recently it was the “Criminalization of Politics” meme all conservative parrotheads started squawking on the same day. We already know you have memos and e-mails to keep the parrot-heads on topic, but if you aren’t thinking about what your saying we can’t discuss it.
This creates real problems when I debate one of you. I get this **DOES NOT COMPUTE** look when I phrase things in terms outside of Limbaugh’s narrow scope. I’m trying to make you think. When, for example, I used the phone company as an example of how a monopoly suppressed market innovation, one parrothead just smiled vacuously, shrugged, and said, “Well Ryan, I simply must love freedom, God, and apple-pie more than you.”
Rush Limbaugh has not won the “Excellence in Broadcasting” award each year for I don’t know how many years. Yes, I know he has “EIB” all over his website and there are all sorts of distinguished awards given out each year by various reputable institutions for “Excellence in Broadcasting,” which recognizes factual integrity and public service, but Limbaugh has never actually won any of those.
The “EIB” on Limbaugh’s website refers to an imaginary institution called “Excellence in Broadcasting,” invented by… you guessed it: Rush Limbaugh. It’s his way of fabricating integrity for his show. The only legitimate awards Limbaugh has won are for his radio personality, which I agree is impressive, but irrelevant to his factual integrity.
You know everyone’s laughing at you behind your back when you proudly proclaim you are a “dittohead.” It’s like you’re proud that an overweight celebrity who couldn’t get a college degree is telling you what to think. It’s like you’re saying, “Hey everybody, I’m a sheep! Baaaa! Baaaa!”
I can assure you, we’re all impressed… just not in a flattering way.
Despite all of my criticism of Rush, I actually appreciate his contributions to American politics. He got people who were otherwise uninterested in politics to start grappling with our common issues. He spread political awareness, and that is always a good thing.
But Rush is the beginner level of political awareness, kinda like a preschool for people interested in politics. At some point you have to drop the training wheels and face the world on your own instead of letting Rush describe it to you. Unfortunately, far too many of his listeners go the other direction, towards more extreme and even less intelligent commentators like Savage and Coulter.
If you find it difficult moving on from his talk show, it’s because you’re addicted to the feeling of Self-Righteous Indignation you get from it. You know what’s a great cure for this? Try listening to Air America Radio for a week without listening to Rush. Listen to how unfairly they treat conservative callers. Watch how they completely misrepresent your opinion. Thrill as they only allow those facts on the air that support their claims.
Then go back and listen to one episode of Rush. Then you’ll see just how incredibly stupid he sounds. Free your mind of this nonsense and start constructively contributing to the American political dialogue.
Peace,
ry