Flash SF: The Illusian

Posted on 31st October 2008 by ideonexus in Pure Speculation

Jwandry was just about to take a break from digging her husband’s grave when she caught the movement out of the corner of her eye. Two hours of chiseling away at the rock-solid soil had produced only a shallow indent. At this rate, it would take days to complete it.

There were no schools here to donate Tawney’s body to science. There wasn’t enough fuel to blast the old man into orbit, per his second request, and she couldn’t spare even a little fuel to cremate him, lest she freeze to death before the presently tardy supply craft arrived. The only microbes on the planet were the ones they had brought with them, so Tawney would probably mummify in the moistureless environment. The Offworld Program did not say life would be easy here, but they didn’t say it would be suicide either.

Now Jwandry was staring hard at the nearby rocks, wondering if she was seeing things on this lifeless world, but after a moment she caught another glimpse of it, a fluttering, fuzzy tentacle. Unmistakably, it was one of them. But this was a Terran world, and the illusians only colonized planets with four times the gravity and denser atmospheres, better to convey the vibrations or changes or whatever it was they sensed in the molecules surrounding them. Scientists hypothesized the illusians understood their universe by sampling the molecules around them, like humans with taste and smell, only far more advanced.

On a planet that now had a population of one, what was it doing right here? Jwandry watched as it wiggled and writhed around the rock pile, tendrils radiating out in all directions, feeling over everything. There was no sign of its ship anywhere, which were believed to run on dark energy. She noticed the glint of metal and pattern of electronics mixed within its jumbling tangle of appendages, a spacesuit, and Jwandry realized this wasn’t a colonist, it was an astronaut.

She wondered what she should do. It had to know she was in the area, for why else would it land here? Should she do something to announce her presence to it? Jwandry took a few hesitant steps toward it, momentarily forgetting her dead husband under the nearby blanket, and the illusian seemed to direct its movement in her direction.

When they were within a few feet of each other, Jwandry sat down cross-legged, resigned to whatever would happen next. The illusian wriggled up close to her, and she watched as tendrils within tendrils unraveled with mystifying motion, until a crystal object emerged and was placed before her.

“For me?” she picked it up carefully. It was a geometric shape of incredible complexity. With shapes inside it, interwoven so they appeared to dance with one another as she turned it over in her hand. It was a gift of goodwill, a recognition on the illusian’s part that it knew how human senses understood their world. This illusian wasn’t an astronaut, it was an ambassador.

“I’m sorry I don’t have anything for…” Jwandry trailed off and looked over her shoulder, to the figure under the blanket rippling gently in the breeze beside the shallow grave and smiled for the first time in weeks.

Perhaps Tawney’s body would make it to space after all.

Science Etcetera, Venusday 20081031

Posted on 31st October 2008 by ideonexus in Science Etcetera
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  • Halloween Urban Legends Abound

    Posted on 30th October 2008 by ideonexus in Enlightenment Warrior

    Tomorrow is Halloween, and that means it’s time to trot out BS stories about razorblades in snickers bars and more BS stories about poisoned candy perpetrated by silly people who must want to believe this stuff because it fits in with their preconceived notions that the world is a dark and disturbing place. So I got a little miffed when the following e-mail went out to the entire Coast Guard last week:

    Subject: FW: [U] FW: NEW DRUG, Please read!!!!!!!!!!! (UNCLASSIFIED)

    Please pass this on even if you do not have kids in school. Parents should know about this killer drug.

    This is a new drug known as ‘strawberry quick ‘.
    There is a very scary thing going on in the schools right now that we all need to be aware of.

    There is a type of crystal meth going around that looks like strawberry pop rocks (the candy that sizzles and ‘pops’ in your mouth). It also smells like strawberry and it is being handed out to kids in school yards. They are calling it strawberry meth or strawberry quick.

    Kids are ingesting this thinking that it is candy and being rushed off to the hospital in dire condition. It also comes in chocolate, peanut butter, cola, cherry, grape and orange.

    Please instruct your children not to accept candy from strangers and even not to accept candy that looks like this from a friend (who may have been given it and believed it is candy) and to take any that they may have to a teacher, principal, etc. immediately.

    Pass this email on to as many people as you can (even if they don’t have kids) so that we can raise awareness and hopefully prevent any tragedies from occurring.

    Read more about this in the link below.

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,271215,00.html

    Hmmm… Funny that the e-mail links to a Faux News story about black heroin, which has nothing to do with strawberry flavored meth, but this story suffers from the same problem the stories about LSD-laced candy I used to get in 1980s from my teachers used to scare us students with: Why would drug dealers give away very expensive drugs to children??? The whole point of dealing drugs is to make money and/or enjoy their recreational use. Giving illegal drugs to kids is counter-intuitive to both these ends.

    So I wrote the perpetrator of the above e-mail:

    According to snopes.com, there are flavored versions of crystal meth; however, there is no evidence the drug is being “handed out to kids in school yards” or that children are “being rushed off to the hospital in dire condition.”

    http://www.snopes.com/horrors/drugs/candymeth.asp

    The Fox News link in the e-mail forwarded says nothing about strawberry drugs, but refers to a black-tar heroine. A more factually accurate e-mail would better serve people trying to make informed decisions rather than attempting to instill panic about Halloween Candy.

    The response was quick and reaffirmed her belief that, whether the story was true or not, parents needed the e-mail to make informed decisions. I like how she called me “Ma’am”:

    Ma’am,

    The truth or urban legend about this stuff is controversial at best and I would rather be an informed parent and follow up with research then to find out later that even part of it was true.

    Info passed out is not intended to scare, but is rather a tool to assist, to keep us aware that new things pop up all the time. If this truly bothers you than I will assure you I will never pass out any info again unless it is completely sanctioned by the US Coast Guard.

    Got that? This misinformation is to prompt parents to do their own research to make informed decisions or some total utter nonsense along those lines. Can’t really make heads or tails of this response. The point is that Halloween is bad, you can’t trust your neighbors, and you need to stay inside and watch Fox News to make sure the perverts don’t bugger your children and the drug-dealers don’t trick you into overdosing.

    Irregardless, Halloween is the best #$%&ing holiday of the year despite the fact that some people never grow up to realize it’s just make-believe. I’ll be handing out candy and watching “Night of the Living Dead.”

    Science Etcetera, Jupiterday 20081030

    Posted on 30th October 2008 by ideonexus in Science Etcetera
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