STUPID ON SO MANY LEVELS: Carbon Belch Day
Monday, June 2nd, 2008
Mark your calendars! June 12 is Carbon Belch Day, brainchild brainfart of the GrassFire lobby, a day to flaunt your skepticism of Anthropogenic Global Warming theory by producing as much CO2 as possible. It’s like “I’m With Stupid” multiplied by several thousand!!!
I am begging all AGW skeptics to PLEASE DO THIS! Please go ahead a prop your car up on cinderblocks and rev the engine all day! Go ahead and turn all the lights on in your house! Open your oven, turn it to 500 degrees and let it do battle with your air conditioner! Run hot water down all the sinks in your house all day long! Prove to us dumbass environmentalists just how stupid you think we really are!!!1
But that’s not enough! You also need to eat LOTS AND LOTS OF HAMBURGER! In fact, eat nothing but hamburger all day long! Wash it down with milk! Prove how much you don’t believe in Global Warming by stuffing your face with all the milk and hamburger you can eat in a single 24 hour period!
While your stuffing your face with all that hamburger and milk, be sure to GO TO WAL-MART AND BUY LOTS AND LOTS OF CHEAP USELESS CRAP!!! Everything at Wal-Mart comes from China, so it takes tons of gas to ship it all the way overseas. So be sure to show us environmentalists just how ridiculous we are by buying extra irons, vacuum cleaners, radios, dvd players, cameras, action figures, lawn gnomes, electric toothbrushes, and other lead-covered cheap junk doomed to break within a year so you can experience the joys of buying it all over again for next year’s Toxic Fart Day! Just remember if you see a sign there that reads “Wet Floor,” it’s not giving you permission.
That’s right! Show us AGW alarmists the validity of your position with this outpouring of flatulence! The more incontinent your display the more seriously we’ll take your position!!! Please be sure to take photos and post them on the Internet proving your devotion to AGW skepticism so we can all admire you!
The person with the most lights on, hamburger eaten, and stuff from Wal Mart wins!!! Here’s wishing you a happy Fart Day!
1 The electricity in your house only matters if you are powered by a coal power plant. If you use nuclear energy, you’ll need to buy a generator from Wal-Mart to increase your flatulence.
Mark your calendars! June 12 is Carbon Belch Day, brainchild brainfart of the GrassFire lobby, a day to flaunt your skepticism of Anthropogenic Global Warming theory by producing as much CO2 as possible. It’s like “I’m With Stupid” multiplied by several thousand!!!
I am begging all AGW skeptics to PLEASE DO THIS! Please go ahead a prop your car up on cinderblocks and rev the engine all day! Go ahead and turn all the lights on in your house! Open your oven, turn it to 500 degrees and let it do battle with your air conditioner! Run hot water down all the sinks in your house all day long! Prove to us dumbass environmentalists just how stupid you think we really are!!!1
But that’s not enough! You also need to eat LOTS AND LOTS OF HAMBURGER! In fact, eat nothing but hamburger all day long! Wash it down with milk! Prove how much you don’t believe in Global Warming by stuffing your face with all the milk and hamburger you can eat in a single 24 hour period!
While your stuffing your face with all that hamburger and milk, be sure to GO TO WAL-MART AND BUY LOTS AND LOTS OF CHEAP USELESS CRAP!!! Everything at Wal-Mart comes from China, so it takes tons of gas to ship it all the way overseas. So be sure to show us environmentalists just how ridiculous we are by buying extra irons, vacuum cleaners, radios, dvd players, cameras, action figures, lawn gnomes, electric toothbrushes, and other lead-covered cheap junk doomed to break within a year so you can experience the joys of buying it all over again for next year’s Toxic Fart Day! Just remember if you see a sign there that reads “Wet Floor,” it’s not giving you permission.
That’s right! Show us AGW alarmists the validity of your position with this outpouring of flatulence! The more incontinent your display the more seriously we’ll take your position!!! Please be sure to take photos and post them on the Internet proving your devotion to AGW skepticism so we can all admire you!
The person with the most lights on, hamburger eaten, and stuff from Wal Mart wins!!! Here’s wishing you a happy Fart Day!
1 The electricity in your house only matters if you are powered by a coal power plant. If you use nuclear energy, you’ll need to buy a generator from Wal-Mart to increase your flatulence.
