Speak English or Go Home!
Dare County has made English its official language, and I say it’s about time somebody finally took a stand!
They show up in our country in droves, usurping our traditional values, and turning our culture on its head. Studies show they are bringing down our children’s grammar skills. They don’t pay taxes, and their influx of cheap labor is forcing countless honest, hardworking Americans into the unemployment lines.
Some people say we can’t do without them, that our economy depends on their labors. That if we exile them from our borders, our modern way of life will collapse, but our lifestyles are increasingly consumed with catering to their needs, all because they are apparently incapable of learning our common tongue.
This is America, and we speak English in this great union. Perl, COBOL, VBScript, PHP, C++, SQL, Java, cold Fusion, Lojban, Python, and other programming languages are un-American, and the schools that teach them and programmers who speak them are bordering on treason.
I say computers either need to learn English or get the heck out of our country!
do{
System.Console.WriteLine(“Hell no, We won’t go!”);
bool ryan_is_being_silly = checkRyanBeingSilly();
} while(ryan_is_being_silly);
-BMF
Comment by BMF — April 15, 2008 @ 5:56 pm
at least if the loop outputs you generally get a chance to get a keystroke in (alt-f4, ctrl-break). if you really want to be mean, take out the writeline. hehe.`
Comment by ClintJCL — April 15, 2008 @ 6:18 pm
I love geek humor. : )
Comment by ideonexus — April 15, 2008 @ 9:48 pm
You had me going there for a bit. I was all set to talk about how this country is what it is because of immigrants, for good and for bad, after killing off nearly all of the native American population. And, then I got to the computer languages. I’m glad you at least left us with bash, else we’d have to
rm -rf /
and then where would we be? Oh, and you left us ANSI C as well!! Good one … Speaking words of wisdom, write in C. Oh, and let’th not forget lithp, so we still have our emacs, T or nil?
Comment by Misanthropic Scott — April 15, 2008 @ 9:59 pm
@BMF
JAVA!!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Congratulations on bloating. A++ all the way. A REAL programmer would say:
while(checkRyanBeingSilly()) {
printf(“Hell No, We Won’t Go!”);
}
Comment by sour Swinger — April 15, 2008 @ 11:14 pm
@SOUR JAVA???? AAAAHHHH!!!! NO THAT’S C#!
And by the way, a REAL computer programmer would say:
“Computer, tell Ryan how you really feel about his last blog post.”
-Booyah!
Comment by BMF — April 16, 2008 @ 8:58 am
@BMF
C#…that’s even worse. You should have just admitted to using Java.
Comment by Sour Swinger — April 16, 2008 @ 9:39 am
@Sour oh now you’re just trolling. :P
BTW Ruby FTW.
-BMF
Comment by BMF — April 16, 2008 @ 10:52 am
On the subject of bloating, I don’t understand why we even need a checkRyanBeingSilly() function. Wouldn’t a constant suffice?
Comment by Vicky — April 16, 2008 @ 1:30 pm
I was thinking that too, but it’s not really as funny if you don’t involve Ryan as an input function.
So you could say that checkRyanBeingSilly() has a static constant of currentHumorLevel, which get incremented as side-effect of calling.
Comment by ClintJCL — April 16, 2008 @ 5:30 pm
Note to self… Humor and programmers don’t mix unless your name is Douglas Adams. :(
-BMF
Comment by BMF — April 16, 2008 @ 7:00 pm