I is Mensafied

Posted on 12th November 2004 by Ryan Somma in Geeking Out

I got the acceptance letter a month ago. I am officially in the top 2% of IQ’s, qualifying me to join Mensa. This week my Membership Package came in, complete with a Newsletter, decoder-ring, and instructions for the secret handshake.

I realize that I have been somewhat critical of Mensa in the past. I have pointed out that their intelligence measures wrongly emphasize verbal and mathematical intelligences over kinesthetic, musical, emotional, or other manifestations of smartiness. Membership in Mensa, I have argued, does not make someone more intelligent than the rest of us; it only means that someone was better test-taker than the rest of us.

I would like to retract these arguments and admit my error. People in Mensa, like myself, truly are smarter than the rest of you, lesser expressions of species Homo Sapiens. I cannot scientifically measure this yet, but I am certain that we are also better people qualitatively as well.

“Amor Tu Ipse Imprimis,” is now my personal slogan. People like me, who are members of Mensa, use Latin expressions like this, which baffle you poor, little people of muddled thinking. The above expression means, “Love Yourself First,” for all of you non-Latin-understanding leptons in that lower 98th percentile.

As one who has often criticized Mensanites as “Snobby Self-Absorbed Elitists,” I can understand that many people will feel this same characterization now applies to myself, who is also a member of Mensa. I can accept this, because people who are better than the common stock don’t take things personally. It’s called “Emotional Maturity.” People like me, who are card-carrying Mensa-Members, know about concepts like that, it’s one of those qualitative-type things that make us better than you.

We members of Mensa, which includes myself, do comprise a type of Intellectual Elite. When you qualify our Superiority with pejoratives like “pompous,” “chrome-dome,” “egg-head,” or “shmuck” you are merely demonstrating your jealousy. It’s our big-brains that help us recognize these things about you that you are probably not cognitively mature enough to realize about yourselves, being the bottom-feeding 98th-percentile nimrods that you are.

While I have not yet achieved omniscience, and cannot therefore bless all you reading this with my magnificent presence. I can provide this idol of worship that you may have the slightest sliver of knowing what it is like to bask in my glory:

Ryan Somma is a dork.

Member of Mensa

Please feel free to reproduce and distribute this picture as you wish. No need to thank me, giving back to the community is just one of those things us Superior people do.

PS – I hope everyone I knew in High School reads this, and I hope
you wish you were nicer to me.

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